What if HAPPY wasn't the goal?

What if HAPPY wasn't the goal?


Hear me out on this. 

I've spent most of my life chasing after happy. Thinking that happiness was the ever elusive cure for all of my other uncomfortable emotions. Assuming that finding my own version of happy would be the end to my ongoing depression and anxiety. As if happiness was nothing more than just the eternal absence of depression and anxiety.

Spoiler alert! Happiness is an emotion, which means it comes and goes just like every other emotion. So the problem with pursuing happiness was that I tried to block out all of the less desirable emotions along the way. The thing is, you can't selectively block emotions. To block out emotion is to become numb and you can't numb sadness without numbing joy. It's a slippery slope.

I'm finding that the key to embracing happiness is to actually make space for all of my other emotions in the process. I can bask in the happiness when it's present, but when it inevitably passes I must also give room to the less comfortable emotions that move in to fill that space. In time, I know that they will pass as well and leave more room to let the happiness back in.

The beauty of letting go of happiness as my only goal is that I've discovered a more worthwhile pursuit for contentment and gratitude in its place. When I'm anxious or sad, I'm not in a place to feel happy; but I can feel content and I can reach for gratitude. The goal of contentment and gratitude allows me to find peace in the midst of any emotion.